where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize