He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
