think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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