She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
