Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
