Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
