STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
