Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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