Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I looked at my own cervix.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
