It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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