so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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