I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
