it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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