I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
