This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
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Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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