This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
