i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
