I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
