sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
