Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize