oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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