If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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