How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We have so much sex to catch up on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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