5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize