i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
