Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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