I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
