I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
