As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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