Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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