guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
