my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
