i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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