we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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