we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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