i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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