how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
