It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They took my balls.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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