the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
