Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
