dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
