ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
