Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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