So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just cropdusted the office
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
im on a boat
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