I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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