youre lurking in front of me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
