A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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