U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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