haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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