Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
