omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
