in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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