I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
