belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
