It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
