I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
