Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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