so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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