Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
