I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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