one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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