We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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