I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
