Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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