The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
