Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
