I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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