So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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