Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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