i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
