so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
